Part 2: Unlocking Your Life · Lesson 9
God never intended you to navigate the Christian life in isolation. From the very beginning of Scripture, we see that relationship is at the heart of God's design for humanity. The poet John Donne captured this truth centuries ago: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."
And yet many of us live as though we were islands. We attend church services, smile at one another in the lobby, and return home to lives marked by quiet independence. We settle for superficial community when God designed us for significant relationships.
Superficial community is marked by pleasant conversations, shared activities, and carefully maintained distance. Significant relationships, by contrast, are Spirit-led, caring, authentic, challenging, supportive, and transparent. In significant relationships, people know your struggles, celebrate your victories, and speak truth into your life even when it is uncomfortable.
Many of us have become experts at appearing fine. We answer "good" when someone asks how we are doing, even when our hearts are heavy. Consider what the acronym FINE often stands for: Feelings Inside Never Expressed.
When feelings remain locked inside, they do not simply disappear. They fester. They distort our thinking. They distance us from the very people God placed in our lives to help carry the load. The apostle Paul understood this, which is why he urged believers to bear one another's burdens.
Before we examine the structure of a support team, we must establish its foundation. That foundation is love -- not a sentimental feeling, but the sacrificial, others-centered love that Christ modeled and Paul described in 1 Corinthians 13.
When Jesus was asked which commandment was the greatest, his answer was unequivocal:
Love is the atmosphere in which your support team will breathe. Without it, accountability becomes criticism. Without it, transparency becomes gossip. Without it, challenge becomes condemnation.
To fulfill your unique purpose, you need a team around you. The S.H.A.P.E. Training Team consists of three essential components, each serving a distinct role in your spiritual growth and development.
A Training Partner is one person who walks closely beside you in the journey of faith. This is someone you meet with regularly -- weekly or even daily -- for prayer, confession, challenge, and encouragement. The relationship is mutual: you serve as their Training Partner as well.
The ideal Training Partner is someone in the same season of life, someone who shares your core values, and someone with whom there is no competition. Competition poisons the kind of vulnerability a Training Partnership requires. You need someone who can rejoice with you when you succeed and weep with you when you stumble -- without measuring your progress against their own.
A strong Training Partner is someone who is devoted to Christ, shares your core values, is in a similar life season, and carries no spirit of competition toward you. Look for someone who listens well, speaks honestly, and follows through on commitments.
A Training Group is a small circle of three to twelve people who commit to "doing life together." This is where you find broader encouragement, corporate prayer, and mutual accountability. In a Training Group, you discover that your struggles are not as unique as you once believed, and your victories are amplified by shared celebration.
One of the most vivid illustrations of a Training Group in action is the story of the paralytic man in Luke 5. When four friends discovered they could not get their paralyzed companion through the crowded door to reach Jesus, they did not give up. They climbed onto the roof, tore open the tiles, and lowered their friend down on a mat -- right in front of Jesus.
Notice the faith of these friends. Jesus saw it, and he healed the paralyzed man. The man could not walk to Jesus on his own. He needed friends willing to carry him -- friends willing to go to extraordinary lengths. That is what a Training Group does. It carries you when you cannot walk, and you carry them when they cannot walk.
Your Board of Advisors consists of seasoned mentors -- people further along the journey of faith who can offer wisdom, perspective, and counsel. These are not people you meet with daily. They are people you turn to at key moments: when you face a major decision, when you are wrestling with God's direction, or when you need the benefit of experience you have not yet lived.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Your Board of Advisors includes those God has placed in your life to refine you, to challenge your assumptions, and to help you see what you cannot see on your own.
At the center of your Board of Advisors -- and indeed at the head of your entire Training Team -- stands Jesus himself. He is the ultimate counselor, the perfect mentor, the Chief Executive Officer of your life's direction. Every human advisor points, in some measure, to him.
Not everyone is suited to serve on your S.H.A.P.E. Training Team. As you consider whom to invite, look for these six character qualities:
How do you actually go about building your team? Scripture gives us a clear pattern in Luke 6. Before Jesus chose his twelve disciples, he did something extraordinary. He spent the entire night in prayer.
Jesus did not appoint his team casually. He prayed first, then he pursued. This two-step pattern -- Pray and Pursue -- is the model for building your S.H.A.P.E. Training Team. Begin by asking God to reveal the right people. Then take the initiative to invite them into your life. Do not wait for someone else to build what God has called you to build.
Follow the example of Jesus: spend time in prayer asking God to identify the right people for your Training Team, and then take the courageous step of inviting them. God provides the direction; you provide the obedience.
When your Training Team is functioning as God intended, something remarkable happens. You begin to grow in ways that would be impossible alone. The writer of Hebrews understood this dynamic well:
And Paul's instruction to the Thessalonian church rings just as true today:
When we love one another, God's presence is made visible in our midst:
Take time now to begin identifying potential members for each component of your S.H.A.P.E. Training Team. Write freely -- this is between you and God.
Are you currently living as an island or as part of a community? What step will you take this week to move toward deeper, more significant relationships? Is there someone God is already putting on your heart to approach? Do not hesitate to bring these questions to your small group, your mentor, or your Training Partner as you form one.